Crowdfunding or ‘e-begging’?
Since when did shameless appeals for cash from acquaintances become socially acceptable? asked Judith Newman in The New York Times. Every time I log onto social media these days, there’s a new donation request from some far-flung “friend”—the former baby sitter hoping to crowdfund her dream wedding or the stressed-out couple asking for money to take a vacation. Don’t get me wrong, crowdfunding sites like GoFundMe and YouCaring are full of “worthy donation recipients”: people asking for help with medical debt or whose homes were wiped out by natural disasters. But there are “many, many others” whose requests feel audaciously selfish, like the mom who just renovated her kitchen and now wants her Facebook contacts to sponsor her kid’s ice-skating lessons. I’m happy to help someone in genuine need. But “do I really want to pay for a friend to travel to Peru to become a shaman?”
Let’s call these “cyber-shakedowns” what they truly are: “e-begging,” said Starshine Roshell in TheWeek.com. The format of these social media appeals, “requiring no eye contact, has made hat passing so easy—so shameless—that it invites brash, unapologetic asks.” But let me be clear: I don’t want to help you fulfill your dream of making a short film. I don’t want to help pay for your beauty pageant fees or fund your trip to see your best friend in Canada. I’m no miser, but “the answer is no.”
“We are not used to this, the sheer nakedness of people putting a number to their problems and disclosing it to the world,” said Ron Lieber in The New York Times. But while some requests seem outlandish, most people on these platforms have legitimate needs. GoFundMe posts 3,300 new personal campaigns a day, and the most common category is medical expenses, followed by funerals and education costs. We shouldn’t judge people who have fallen on hard times, said Michelle Singletary in The Washington Post. But I’ve worked with enough people in dire financial straits to know that when they are asking for cash to pay off debts of their own making, “giving money isn’t always what’s best. Some folks have to fall hard before they do what they can to help themselves.”
I’m actually heartened that crowdfunding sites are making discussions about money less taboo, said Ester Bloom in The Atlantic.com. Talking about personal finances has long been considered “tawdry and low-class,” but there’s no reason we shouldn’t be more transparent with friends and co-workers about money, its practical uses, and our occasional need for more of it. These crowdfunding campaigns—whether they are for hospital bills, a honeymoon, or a hobby—“allow members of a community to confess that they have a need, and they allow communities to come together and meet that need.” In this season of giving, that’s its own small gift.
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