Top 10 Tips to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse
Here at the archive, we’ve been watching a lot of Zombie movies and shows and we’ve started preparing our offices for the Zombie Apocalypse. During our preparation, we put together a lot of handy tips that will keep you temporarily safe from the inevitable face-eating zombie apocalypse. Or maybe not, but it can’t hurt to be well-prepared for any scenario. Which is what brings us to today's topic, 10 tips to survive a zombie apocalypse!
10. Stay put
If a threat comes, and let’s face it that threat is dead, hungry, and inevitably approaching, one option is to stay put. People will start leaving the city in caravans and you’re not going to want to get stuck in that traffic, much less find out that where you’re all going is kind of a dud, or totally exhausted in resources. You’re getting a head start on the apocalypse! So stock up on rations, get some books, and find a good radio. The only kicker with this method is that you’ll have to, at some point, leave your house or fight whoever tries to get in, so definitely be prepared for that. Rations, books, radio, and a cell phone, but you'll run out of rations soon so you'll want to relocate at some point.
9. Find a wall
Lots of civilizations have done it. And, well, it didn't work for a lot of civilizations, either.. But you can try! Figure out your wall situation. Do you have one? Strengthen them. Do you need one? Build it. Or, alternatively, you can go out and find yourself a nice walled area, like say, a prison. They would have a really hard time getting over the walls and through locked steel doors. That is unless they learn to fly helicopters.. And I don't know about you, but I'd die a happy man of cuteness overload to see 2 zombies fly a helicopter all drunk like, spending 30 minutes going up and down trying to land but are too afraid to. That needs to be in a movie.. Someone in the movie biz needs to pay me to write this stuff. Ok ok, back to the list!
8. Grocery store strategy
Okay, this one is going to be tricky, but if you’re quick to the punch and can strategize, or even if you have a good team with you, you can pull it off. As soon as it starts to get real crazy, and following the law starts to get real optional, head to the grocery store. Lock yourself in, it’s BYOL, Bring Your Own Locks. Get in there, kick people out, use force if you have to, and lock all those doors. Cover the windows, and bunker down. You have all the resources you need for a while, just make sure you have something to entertain and also protect yourself with. Just because you fixed the ration situation for a bit, doesn’t mean everything else is suddenly solved. The power might go out, there’s probably nowhere to cook anything, so think ahead! You got this.
7. Fallout Shelters
If you’re living in the U.S or a country with a nuclear strategy, rest assured it has nuclear shelters. So, while we’re ahead, do the research about where they’re located. Find a few near you, with varying routes to them in case certain bridges fall or roads fail, keep them on a physical map, and know that all you have to do is pack up and get there. There’s no zombies getting into one of those. You probably won’t be alone so be prepared to socialize and contribute something to the group. You’ll likely be highly inspected upon entry.
6. Stay put...but on water
As far as we can imagine, in all of our zombie films and apocalyptic nightmares, zombies are not going to be big swimmers. So, if you find a good boat to stay on, fill it with your weapons, food, friends, if you want them, entertainment and sail on out. You probably don’t even have to go far. Just far enough where they can’t really jump to you. Water could be the answer no one else thinks of. Unless the zombies learn to use pedal boats, which, again, would be so cute.
5. Get groupies
Or, you know, friends. A team to back you up and you just have to be faster than your slowest friend. Doing it on your own may look cool at first, but soon enough you’ll find that having a team can come in handy. You do not want to fight off an army of the dead with an army of one. No matter how much you try to Home Alone it, your gimmicks are going to run out and no one is going to have your back.
4. Hide in plain sight
This one is a bit of a stretch but it can’t hurt. Note: this is all on the assumption that zombies are really, really dumb. If they’re dead, they eat brains, and they’re slow, you can probably bank on this strategy. Get some makeup skills while you can, buy some materials, and when the time comes and you’re ready, join the group of the dead, act like them, moan like them, and definitely look as much like them as possible. They’ll move on to find what they’re looking for, just lag behind and moonwalk in the other direction and run when the time is right. Oh, and in case they’re able to smell you, try not to smell too fresh or edible. No fresh open wounds!
3. Supplies
Packing may seem like an easy task in the grand scheme of an apocalypse but rationing food and water, first aid and other things that seem vital are just the tip of the iceberg. When leaving home for good, not knowing what you might be facing. You can’t assume you’ll have access to any of the things you have on the daily. Soap, toilet paper, even just a sewing needle will feel like a lifesaver! So make sure you have a good list and a stash of extras. You don’t know what you’ll run out of first!
2. Gauge It
Preparation isn’t all about supplies, though. While you’re figuring everything out, you can’t forget that there will be an active threat. It won’t just be about lasting, it’ll be about surviving, and to survive you gotta fight. How? Well, with weapons of course! Gauge what weapons you have, what weapons you’ll need, and how good you are at using them. If you're comfortable around weapons, get yourself a couple of Ak47's for close combat, and RPG's to clear out large clusters of zombies. Practice safely, of course. Go to a range, take a class, but don’t keep weapons that you’re not prepared to use safely. If you have no skills with weapons, then you might need to think of a plan b.
1. Think outside the box
Quick question! Where would you get food to live on if you were stranded in the woods? Can you find water that isn't from a tap? Time to get creative. Study up on what plants, animals, insects, and tricks can get you through. It’s time to join the cub scouts and get all your badges. Knowing how to find clean water, pitch a tent, cook without electricity, build a fire without a lighter, and all of those other little skills are going to greatly increase your chances of survival.
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